You’ve probably seen the term “cuck” thrown around on the internet. It’s used as an emasculating insult, but there’s an exciting and normal kink behind it – although it’s certainly not for everyone. But what is cuckoldry, and what the hell is a hot wife? Furthermore, if it turns you on how do you responsibly find a “bull?” AskMen spoke to a sex-positive psychologist and two dominatrixes to bring you a guide to hot wife and cuckoldry.

1. What Are “Cuckoldry” and “Hotwife”?

“Cuckolding is a sexual interest, or fetish, in which usually a partner (usually a woman) has sex with another man,” says sex-positive psychotherapist Dr. Liz Powell. “It also can involve aspects of humiliation and embarrassment including talking about how small the husband’s genitalia is.” The cuckold is the partner who watches their wife, or partner (while many married couples do enjoy it, you don’t have to be married, or straight, to enjoy cuckolding) have sex with the bull. The bull, or the other man, may be more sexually dominant. The bull is often the “guest star,” or someone outside of the primary relationship. What’s in it for the bull? Well, fucking the hot wife, of course, and the satisfaction of watching the quivering husband in the corner

The partner who has sex with the bull is often referred to as the “hot wife.” While the two terms can be used to describe the same scenario, hotwifing can be different from cuckolding. “It all depends on the specific dynamic that they’ve worked out. Hotwifing as opposed to cuckolding puts the focus on the wife. Cuckolding tends to have more of an air of degradation and humiliation,” Dr. Powell says. Sometimes a couple who enjoys hotwifing wants the focus to be on how desirable (hot) the wife is. “Hotwifing is about celebrating your wife’s attractiveness, and sharing her with others,” Dr. Powell says. “There’s also a locus of control difference. A lot of times cuckolding the locus of control is placed in the woman who is having sex with other people, where with hotwifing a lot of times the locus of control is placed in the male spouse.”

The hotwife may have several other male partners that she sleeps with on her own without the husband present. For the hotwife, the experience is often one of dominance, worship, and power. “As the woman doing the cuckolding, it can be very exciting and empowering to have a different sexual partner, especially when your man is fully in support of you having a wonderful experience,” says Goddess Aviva, a New York City-based professional and lifestyle dominatrix.

2. How Does Cuckoldry Work?

For as many couples that exist in the world, there are ways to cuck. Sometimes, the cuck will literally be in the corner of the room while another man fucks his wife. He may be tied up and forced to watch while his wife verbally berates him that she can’t get enough of the big, hot man with the giant penis plowing her. The husband may jerk off. He may not be allowed to jerk off. The husband may not be present. Sometimes, after the hot wife goes out and fucks someone else, then she’ll have sex with the husband when she gets home if she feels up to throwing him a bone.

You can get creative with cuckolding. Aside from cuckolding with their wives, many men seek out professional dominatrixes for the experience. “My experience ranges from having men buy lingerie or outfits that I’ll wear on a date with a different man, to organizing cuck scenes with favored partners, to having cuck slaves supply me with condoms and sex toys I use with other men and having them clean up after White Sites dating login sexy dates (washing sheets, pickup up used condoms, etc.). There are so many fun ways to incorporate cuckolding into your relationships,” Goddess Aviva says.