However, if you think a friend might be down and are unsure how to initiate a threesome, a close night at home with some alcohol might make things happen spontaneously

Friend or stranger? – There are typically two schools of thought when it comes to inviting someone into a threesome. You can go with a friend whom you trust and are attracted to because it’s safer… Or you can opt for a stranger who you won’t have to see afterward if you know won’t be able to continue being friends with a person after you’ve seen them naked! Plus, you don’t have to talk to a stranger again if your threesome doesn’t work out so well.

Furthermore, it can be hard to tell whether a friend would be open to the idea of joining you in a threesome. If you know a friend who has expressed attraction to you and/or your partner or interest in being part of a threesome, it can make approaching the subject much easier, but you could be risking your entire friendship if someone is offended by the question.

Although you and your partner may have thought of someone you wanted to invite into your bed for a few hours, you might not immediately know who you want to try a threesome with. It can help to ensure that you have a good time if you choose someone who has some experience with threesomes and might even have their own threesome techniques.

Many couples look for a bisexual man or woman, and this can be ideal. Beware that some bisexual women are especially turned off by couples who are searching for their “unicorn” as it can be objectifying.

Make it clear that you want a threesome, however, as not all sex workers might provide this service and some might charge more for it

Find your threesome partner online – Thanks to the Internet, finding a person or two to join in your threesome is easier than ever. You can post on Craigslist, meet people with the Tinder app or start an OkCupid or POF profile where you describe what and who it is that you want. Niche sites like FetLife and adult personals including AdultFriendFinder can also lead you to someone to join in your threesome, enabling you to find a match and initiate a threesome. Some people have set up their threesome through swinger websites or groups.

Just because someone is interested doesn’t mean they’re a good fit. Not only do you have to consider chemistry between yourself and another person, but you also have to consider how the other two people will get along. Plus, there are issues of whether you’re all attracted to each other, kinks and sexual interests and even a person’s STI status can send you back to square one when looking for someone to have a threesome with.

If you don’t know or can’t find someone to join you and your partner, there is one final option: a sex worker. Knowing that this person is paid can minimize any potential insecurities. Furthermore, sex workers are experienced at navigating boundaries and helping put people at ease. If you live in a location where sex work is legal, this just might be the best option.

Adding another person into a dynamic, even if it’s only for temporary sexual pleasure, adds a lot more emotions. You might be surprised by how you feel. Some people find themselves feeling jealous of insecure during or after a threesome, which throws them off their game because they were the ones you introduced the topic in the first place! Sometimes, the partner who wasn’t the one who brought up the idea of a threesome might become the one who enjoys it more .