As I was looking at interracial love in the making, I had drifted off into my thoughts, so I didn’t notice that Lord Edward, the prince, had come again and was about to take my Swedish Princess with him.

First we were on the sofa together, then we ended up in my bed, making my Swedish roommate wish he had never made it possible for the two of us to meet.

I was confused. It had all been so casual. Even after weeks of not sharpening my game, I seemed to have it. In fact, it was better than ever before. I didn’t even have to do anything, think about what to say, or how I would make it happen. All I had to do was be there and be myself, and magically we ended up in bed.

Was it possible that a girl could actually like me for introverted myself, and not the image I was constantly trying to convey?

I was so fascinated with what had happened that I had to ask her, “Why didn’t you hook up with the English guy? Didn’t you think he was really cool?”

If I hadn’t been so fatigued, I would have pushed it just as hard as the English Prince did, because that was, at least I thought, how you get girls.

Now as you probably know by now, much about meeting girls is about your mental attitude. As an introvert, this is especially true.

Mindset randki z europejczykiem #1: Get Comfortable

Your biggest problem is not that you have introverted tendencies. It’s that you think that your personality is not interesting enough. In other words, you lack confidence. You’ve probably gotten that advice before, but it cannot be stressed enough.

The best way to become more confident is through experience. You don’t have to pretend you’re an extrovert. You don’t have to be loud and obnoxiously outgoing.

All you need is to feel certain that what you say has value. Just like learning how to seduce girls, confidence is something that will take time to implement. Start to gather reference experiences that will allow you to feel confident with your introverted personality. Don’t be ashamed of it.

One reference experience could be that you meet a girl who chooses you over an extroverted man (which is what changed my perception about how to seduce girls as an introvert). Another one would be if you become part of a social group who really values your input-because it’s deep and witty, which is an ability that is unique to you as an introvert.

You might have these tendencies, but identifying with them only makes it harder for yourself to live out a different side of yourself when the opportunity arises.

Mindset #2: Lean Into Your Fear

But you do have to develop the ability to bring out a different side of yourself. As soon as you’ve learned to do that, you can relax back into your authentic personality.

If you think there is nothing scarier than a busy nightclub, go there by yourself. It’s not that you have to make a lifestyle, but it’s good if you can do it.

If you usually do not talk much around other people, pick one night where you simply force yourself to be more outgoing. If you have troubles having fluff talk with girls, spend a month practicing to say whatever is on your mind.

But if you do want to learn how to seduce girls in a specific environment, like a nightclub, you will have to develop your ability to express yourself in a different way-even if it’s uncomfortable at first.