Like any good sexual experience, the first major step in learning how to squirt is proper foreplay (even if it’s just with yourself)

If you’re wondering “how to make yourself squirt,” you might also be interested in whether or not squirt is pee. The answer? No, it is not pee. “The fluid is called prostatic fluid, and has a different biochemical make-up than pee,” says Melancon. While some research suggests that it contains the same compounds (urea and creatinine) as urine, having the same ingredients doesn’t mean they’re the same. “While pee generally has an odor that is yellow in color, squirt is usually white or clear and odorless and mostly tasteless,” she adds.

There isn’t an official way to tell discern between pee and squirt, but if you suspect that you’re peeing during sex (due to the color, odor, or taste of the fluid being released), Melancon recommends chatting with a pelvic health specialist. Why? “If you’re peeing during sex, it could be a sign of urinary incontinence,” she says. Under these circumstances, it’s known as coital incontinence (versus stress incontinence, when you jump, sneeze, etc.) – and one 2017 study published in the journal PLoS One suggests that peeing during penetration is somewhat common in vulva-owners (especially those who have given birth). “This condition is often linked with a too-weak or too-tight pelvic floor, which pelvic floor exercises can remedy.” (Related: 5 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Pelvic Floor)

If you have urinary incontinence, it’s worth getting checked out, but “even if it is pee, my question is: Pee is sterile, so really, who cares?” says Jean. “I say embrace your own bodily fluids and stop sleeping with anyone who questions, interrogates, or makes you feel bad about the sexual fluids coming out of your body.”

Can Everyone Squirt?

Research shows that between one-tenth and one-half of vulva-owners report squirting over the course of their lifetime, according to the International Society for Sexual Medicine. But most sex educators and researchers suspect that number is much higher. “It is my belief that everyone with a vulva can squirt if they have a coordinated pelvic floor and a good relationship with their vulva,” says Jean.

Melancon agrees that, in theory, the majority of vulva-owners should be able to learn how to squirt. But it’s hard to know for sure, she says. For instance, in theory, everyone with nipples could enjoy nipple stimulation, but that’s not necessarily the case, she explains. The same goes for butt stuff. (Related: Does Anal Sex Feel Good or Hurt?)

Translation: It’s unknown exactly how many vulva-owners can/will/could squirt. But if you’re interested, it’s totally worth exploring how to squirt or how to make your partner squirt.

“Like orgasms, the way to achieve squirting will vary person-to-person, day-to-day,” says Jean. But usually, these steps can help you learn how to squirt – or help you make your partner squirt.

1 . Prep your space. Some vulva-owners can squirt a whole lot of fluid! And it’s probably not going to happen unless you’re totally fine getting your surroundings all wet – nothing kills the mood like worrying you’ll ruin your new comforter. Melancon recommends prepping your space with a towel or Liberator Moisture-Proof Blanket. “If you’re into medical play, you might also try putting down incontinence pads or puppy pads, both of which are super absorbent,” she adds.

2. Get good and turned on. “Arousal and engorgement are key for squirting, so the longer you spend getting aroused, the better,” says Jean. If that means letting your partner go down on you while you stimulate your nipples, do that! If that means rocking a butt plug while using a clit vibrator on yourself, do that!