Surviving the painful but extremely rewarding transition back to your true self
You are about take on one of the great challenges of your young life. It will change you forever. For a while you will have to give up many of the qualities you cherish most in yourself. It will take an excruciatingly long time, but in the end you will be no less than 100 times the person you are today.
Adderall takes all of your best productive qualities: your passion, your drive, your work-ethic, your confidence, your focus – and amplifies them tenfold. It makes you love any task in front of you. Tasks that you’d normally hate suddenly become incredibly enjoyable and you commit yourself fully to them. And then you start to depend on it.
And that is the evil of the thing. By giving you instant motivation, passion, drive, focus and love for the task in front of you, it prevents you from developing those qualities naturally. By making you passionate about EVERYTHING it pulls you away from the process of finding the true passions of your heart and cripples your natural development as a person.
Your mind and your life have grown dependant on having this crutch as a part of your daily routine. Wake up. Pop pill. Be Superman.
Make no mistake, this process will involve nothing less than you rebuilding yourself anew from scratch. You are going to willingly sacrifice many of your best qualities to a purifying fire. You are sacrificing them to a vision of the man you know that you can be. You are sacrificing them because you know with all your heart that you have to; that this is the next step that your journey requires; this is the only way for you to achieve the true passion and genuine happiness and deep fulfillment and incredible mastery over life that you crave. The pills have allowed you to fake those things. Now you want them for real. Because you know that when they are real they are infinitely more powerful; when they are real they are invincible.
You will notice the bad changes almost immediately. You will be lazy, depressed. You will have no drive, no ambition; You will have no fire nor passion nor spine; no confidence, no courage, no discipline – none of the qualities you had so much of for so long.
Remember: the confident, brilliant, driven person you have been on Adderrall – that is who you are; not the desolate wretch you’re going to seem like (to others) over the next several months (or more). Those qualities you are going to miss so much are qualities you will have again and many times over, but you will have to work your way back to them ever so gradually.
It will take many months before you start to see some noticeable progress, because most of your progress will be internal for the first phase. You and many of the people closest to you will be frustrated with it. They will want the old you back. And you will be so tempted to give it to them, because you want it too.
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But you won’t go back. Because for all the struggles and stresses that will weigh on you, you will feel the current of destiny pushing you along at all times…the current that you couldn’t feel during your time on Adderall….a force that makes you feel like every mistake you make somehow moves you ahead…a feeling of constant, unyielding forward motion underlying all your actions, for better or worse. Pay attention to this feeling; draw faith and strength from it.