At first this will probably feel pretty awkward. It felt that way for me. That’s okay. Being a beginner at anything is awkward and clumsy. It’s okay to behave and feel like a dork at times. That really isn’t a problem because even the experienced people went through that phase before, so they recognize it in others. Just do your best to accept that this is a phase you must move through. Be okay with the awkwardness. There’s no need to resist it. If you accept it, you’ll learn faster. I can very much respect people who come across as dorky and clumsy but also open-minded and eager to learn. In fact, I probably respect them more than the experts; the beginner phase is a place of great honor.

Leaning Into Openness

Like attracts like. We attract or repel others according to the energy signature we broadcast. If you have negative judgments about non-exclusivity, if you fear being judged for expressing interest in this lifestyle, or if you have limiting beliefs about it (such as believing that it’s too difficult to find good partners), then you’ll have a hard time stepping into this reality.

But once you’re locked into the right mindset and heartset, the new reality starts showing up, and eventually it becomes self-sustaining. I’ve been at that point for a while now. It would be harder for me to change course and go back. If I do nothing, I’ll continue to attract new people into my life who share a similar energy signature in their approach to relationships. We just seem to attract each other with ease and lightness – it doesn’t require serious effort.

I set the intention to explore it, even before I knew whether or not I’d like it. I shared my intentions publicly, clumsily at first, knowing full well that some people would react negatively. I invited new experiences, even before I felt congruent with them, and again with some degree of awkwardness.

I took steps to break orbit from Planet Exclusive and kept moving in the direction of Planet Openness. These early steps were sometimes bumbling and not particularly graceful, but I knew it was unreasonable to expect smoothness without much experience. I gave myself permission to be a beginner and to make plenty of beginner mistakes. I didn’t expect to be very confident or competent at first, but I still took action anyway. I knew that confidence and competence would eventually emerge as I gained experience.

With enough patience, practice, and experience, you’ll eventually lock in to your new reality. That beginner clumsiness will fade. You’ll become more socially calibrated over time. New opportunities will flow into your life with grace, ease, and lightness, and you’ll know how to receive and enjoy them. This is a beautiful place to be. When you get there, I suggest you simply enjoy it for a while. Feel the appreciation and gratitude of the manifestation of your desires. Sooner or later, you’ll begin perceiving new desires, and then you can go explore some more.

The 4 Dimensions of Connection

Think about your current relationships, and you’ll realize that each relationship in your life involves some or all of these aspects.

For instance, with a lover you may enjoy a delicious body-heart connection. With a growth-oriented friend, you could enjoy a stimulating mind-spirit connection.

Note also that there are lots of different possibilities to explore depth and variety in each of these dimensions. You could explore a physical connection that only involves casual touch and azing sex together. You have some quick and basic conversations now and then, or you could spend hours discussing the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.