You pointed out worries concerning the awkwardness of really resting utilizing the guy, and concerns about being a ‘dud’. Forget about this. In my opinion, and also this is aside from sex, things have a tendency to just work themselves out fine whenever both individuals are excited and involved with it. Passion alone can be well worth more than a perfect strategy. Include a small interaction into it, and you also’re golden. Therefore just make sure you wait ’til you are all excited for it, okay? published by amelioration at 10:50 have always been on might 30, 2009

Seconding, thirding and n-thing: be upfront about this, that might maybe perhaps maybe not (or might, based on him) be described as a big deal. Bonus: he is the man that is first tickled your interest. Huge ego boost! Disadvantage: speaking as an etero man, now he’s got 200% associated with the competition for you, that might induce a bit that is little of on their part about your relationship.

Lots of men have actually dreams about girl-girl-boy threesomes. Merely an idea to help keep when you look at the straight back regarding the mind. See above paragraph on competition for drawbacks and exactly why he is improbable likely to ask to ‘bring a pal’. YMMV.

Most useful of luck! published by _dario at 10:55 AM on May 30, 2009

I am what your location is too. We are nevertheless together. Nthing keep in touch with him if you can talk to each other about it about it before anything happens, and it might also be helpful to acknowledge that maybe it’ll just be awkward (or awkward the first time/first few) and that doesn’t need to be a bad experience, especially.

It types of noises, as other commenters have actually stated philadelphia sugar daddy online, that the concern of identification can be going swimming – you understand, “Am I ‘bi’ now, or exactly just what?” Like it shouldn’t seem like such a big deal for me, personally, it was a very difficult question, even though at the time, I felt. In retrospect, If just I’d accepted it was difficult for me personally. Dating some guy tossed down plenty of tips I’d about myself looked after cut me removed from a feeling of being section of a community that is queer and I also think this really is a typical feeling, regardless of how highly one thinks (if certainly one does) that sex doesn’t figure out identification.

Ultimately, we made my comfort along with it. It aided to own more conversations about this with my buddies, and discover, for instance, that certain of those was at a lesbian support team, as well as one point them all had been dating dudes! It don’t change anything basic they didn’t have to use any words they didn’t want to in them, and. They are able to feel nonetheless they desired about whomever they desired. This did not ensure it is any less awkward to re-think whom these were, however. But whether or perhaps not you stick with this person, we bet this is an appealing minute in your daily life, the one that offers you some insights into your self along with your environments and just how you wish to live. published by thesmallmachine at 12:11 PM may 30, 2009

If it will help, you are not the very first individual to have this situation that is unusual. It is best merely to be as honest and upfront along with your partner.

Good fortune! published by lyndhurst at 12:12 PM may 30, 2009

snugglebunny: “And what is a person who identifies as a lesbian doing dating a man anyhow? I believe you’re establishing your self and him up for the large amount of difficulty.”

Um snugglebunny, are you currently severe? I did not understand that as soon as you checked the “gay” package you had beenn’t permitted to date anybody associated with the contrary intercourse. The OP don’t signal some type saying “I’m a lesbian and may never ever touch some guy once again.” Sheesh! Although we have a tendency to want to label sex (and sex) in good, neat, check-able containers, the simple facts are that it is *not* that facile.

OP, that is understandably tossing you through a cycle, partly as it’s messing with your self-identity. That is normal. And you’re frightened as you have not been with a man in sometime. That is additionally normal. But do not *ever* let anybody tell you you “should never” be doing one thing simply you should be because it doesn’t fit with their idea of how. published by radioamy at 12:21 PM may 30, 2009 [4 favorites]

I will be a right guy and and, not so long ago, I happened to be dating a woman whom recognized as a lesbian. perhaps not bi, a lesbian. it had been a relationship that is good. we lasted for 5 years and we also’re still really friends that are close.

and she arrived on the scene of it as to what katherineg called her street that is”lesbian” intact. in my opinion (which will be, admittedly, restricted), that kind of reasoning about sex and sex just isn’t plenty the way in which things are done any longer. It’s interesting, for example, that this presssing problem did not ensure it is into your concern after all. and i love what thesmalmachine and radioamy have actually to state, therefore I’ll keep it at that.

so when you said you don’t wish to be a ‘dud,’ i did not think you had performance that is sexual mind; I was thinking you designed you didn’t would like a relationship to go bad on this man therefore immediately after the final one. published by spindle at 12:35 PM may 30, 2009 [1 favorite]

In reality he will most likely not care anyhow. Considering exactly just how lesbian that is much guys view, he may really very well be more into you as a result of it. published by Ookseer at 12:51 PM may 30, 2009 [1 favorite]

Telling him “I’m a really lesbian” (your terms) is comparable to telling him, “I’m maybe not interested in you.” If you should be drawn to him and would like to date him, you aren’t a lesbian. You are bisexual. Just how can he is told by you this? what about: “I’m bisexual.”

How do he is told by you you’ve just dated girls in past times? What about: “I’ve just dated girls within the past.” Or “I’m bisexual, but we have a tendency to choose girls/women.” You don’t have to justify this choice. Either he will are having issues he won’t with it or. In either case, you’ll both be much better down dancing with honesty and openness. posted by Jaltcoh at 12:54 PM may 30, 2009