How does my boyfriend keep letters from their ex-girlfriends?

My boyfriend stated that the envelop from their ex was at storage space and it again that he read. But later I experienced an atmosphere he didn’t put it away and I also ended up being appropriate he kept it. This hits me as strange I have ever given him because he has thrown away all of the letters and cards. He stated he has got no good explanation to help keep them, and that he does not keep letters and cards from people. Therefore, how come he keep letters from their ex girlfriends? Not just one but from 2 various girls.

If he states that such things as this don’t matter then the reason the letters didn’t ensure it is into the trash, if it surely didn’t actually suggest such a thing? Alternatively it absolutely was set aside carefully, it has additionally occurred with images from their ex girlfriends, and I also simply learned that a picture is had by the envelop of their ex.

I am aware if individuals desire to keep photos but letters?, even though its disrespectful for me, but in the time that is same feel just like if somebody needs to keep photos or letters from ex-girlfriends which they nevertheless are hanging on to something.

We don’t know very well what the letters suggest to him precisely. He constantly informs me I don’t trust him, but he keeps such things as this from me personally. Trust https://datingranking.net/adventure-dating/ and honesty goes both methods. We don’t keep things from him.

I’ve been considering methods on how best to confront him about that. We’ve been dating for nearly three years, i simply had a sense he didn’t put the envelop away that day.

Reaction:

Individuals keep letters and photos for many different reasons. But, mostly because individuals keep such mementos simply because they restore unique memories and unique emotions (realise why does partner speak to an ex).

And maintaining letters or photos of a ex doesn’t mean that is necessary the man you’re seeing really really loves you any less. It might simply suggest which he likes the memory of exactly how he felt during those times.

And merely since you are someone that is dating maybe maybe maybe not signify see your face needs to stop trying all of the memories associated with the past. Asking anyone to provide their keepsakes up to be able to show you respect is certainly not being extremely respectful.

Therefore, our most readily useful advice is to not “confront” the man you’re seeing concerning the situation. Considering a discussion being a conflict frequently turns it as a conflict. A better way to give some thought to this issue is to see it as a discussion—a conversation where your aim would be to comprehend his viewpoint without wanting to judge him or alter their behavior (see talk about problems).

Without reacting in a way that makes him feel ashamed or fearful of your reaction, you may find that understanding how he feels will bring you closer together if you try to understand why those past memories are so special to him. Everything you hear may harm your emotions or cause you to feel insufficient in someways, you can’t alter their previous memories. And if you attempt to comprehend just how he seems concerning the situation, he will likely you will need to understand situation from your standpoint. Such a real sharing of emotions might help produce greater closeness and understanding, whenever you can learn how to keep your anxiety and worries from being released in hostile and/or manner that is defensive.

And often relationships work most useful when partners feel secure and close, but additionally allow one another to possess a feeling of their identification. Relationships often don’t work whenever people feel threatened and attempt to get a handle on facets of their partner’s behavior, aspects which individuals are entitled to—such as memories of these previous and keepsakes which are very important in their mind.